We're Done!

Adam gave me my very last Progesterone Shot about a half an hour ago. HOORAY! We are both so relieved to have this part over with -- Adam because he hates giving them to me, me because I hate getting them! We're not sure what we'll do with ourselves every night at 9:00 now that we don't have a shot to give, but it will sure make life easier and happier! It's been a great Christmas Day and this final shot makes it all the better. Now we can start treating it like a normal pregnancy. HOORAY! Here's a picture we took Tuesday night when Santa came to visit...we wanted all the kids to have a turn on Santa's lap...including the baby! :) HOORAY!

"7 Days" Was All She Wrote...

Only one more week of shots! Wahoo! Last night DJ wanted to give me my shot again. Sammy wanted to see how it all goes down, so Adam, DJ, Sammy and I all crammed into my parent's bathroom to feed my little baby. DJ did really well, and I could tell he felt more confident than he was the first time he did it. I'm not sure what Sammy thought about it, but she didn't pass out, throw up, or scream, so I guess that's a success. :) I have my first appointment scheduled with Dr. Dewey on December 31st. Hooray!

Progesterone Shots....sure do stink!

But I only have to take them 17 more times! The last few nights have been pretty rough with them, we hit a vein, I've bled like a stuck pig and a have bruise the size of a golf ball on my hind-quarters. (And those are all three separate incidents!) We've taken pictures of Adam giving me the shot, and of my amazing, deep dark bruise, but I'm afraid it shows a little too much Misty, so you can use your imaginations there. On second thought, don't even go there. Please. For all of our sakes. However, here is a picture of the needle we have to use to inject the Progesterone.

To give you an idea of it's size, the needle itself is almost the length of the lid on a Sharpie. See?

Adam is a brave man for giving me these every night...the needle has to go all the way in, in to the muscle and the Progesterone is thick thick so it takes a while to squeeze it all out...but it's totally worth it. At least, that's what we'll keep telling ourselves for the next 17 days. It gives a whole new meaning to "I can't wait for Christmas!"

Growing Belly

Exactly a month after the transfer, though technically 7.1 weeks along:

Ultrasound!

We went up to the U for our ultrasound today. It was so exciting! We got to see and hear the heartbeat, which was very cool. Just one baby, the doctor thinks the spotting and cramping from before could be the second embryo sluffing off. My due date is July 24, and the baby is about 1/3 of an inch. Crazy! When we left, Adam pointed out that this could be the last time we are at the U for baby stuff. It was really sad. They are all so great, everyone making you feel like you're their #1 patient, knowing your name and your situation, and being so excited for us! The nurses even were laughing at us a bit because I was so convinced that my blood test was going to be negative, and here we are with a perfectly healthy baby. :) We are so grateful for the U for all that they've done and for their bedside manner. And now, the countdown to a new baby being here begins!

The Cat's Out of the Bag

Yesterday was the big day, and now both of our families know. We thought it would be fun to tell them on Thanksgiving, so we bought shirts for AJ & Aaron that look like this:

It took both families a little while to read the shirts and then to make the connection, but it was a lot of fun, and AJ & Aaron got to be the ones to break the news. Our Ultrasound is next Wednesday, where we will get to see the heartbeat. I'm so excited!

I've been feeling pretty sick these last few weeks. Really sick to my stomach, drained of energy, and T-I-R-E-D! But it's good, because that means I'm pregnant!! I've really been trying not to complain, and have just tried to be grateful that I get to have this experience. I'm already getting a little belly, so it helps to keep me excited, even when I'm feeling sick.

When we ask AJ where the baby is, he'll pat my stomach and say "Baby! Baby!" It's so much fun.

And last night, DJ gave me my progesterone shot. He's going into nursing, so when we were talking about my shot, he was like "I'll do it." He did a good job, even though he was pretty nervous. It's fun to have both families so excited for both of us, and wanting to be involved in the IVF process. We are so blessed to have such amazing support!

The Results Are In...

WE'RE PREGNANT!!

We woke up early this morning to go to the U for my blood test. (The boys stayed at Grandpa & Grandma's for the night.) We got there before 8:00, they drew the blood, and said they'd call us around noon to tell us the results. We talked with the nurse, Jennie, about our little scare and told her that we were hoping for the best but were prepared for the worst. She said she would call us and would hope for good news. We were out of there at 8:13.

Because we had missed the first part of church, we came home to eat and shower and then went to the third hour. I had my cell phone in my hand the whole time, but it never rang. As we were walking out of the church, my phone started vibrating, and I knew it was her.

"Hi, Misty. This is Jennie. How are you? I have some good news for you...YOU'RE PREGNANT!" She was so cute and laughing and excited...she said she was expecting bad news and was so glad she could call us with good news! She asked if Adam was there with me, and I said, "Yes, he's right here, looking at me with a quizzical expression." She said "TELL HIM!" "We're having a baby!" I said. "We're pregnant!" AHH! :D

She said the number they look for is 100 -- 100 is a positive pregnancy. My level is 388.9, so it's a GOOD positive! I asked about the number compared to the boys with our first IVF cycle, and she looked back through our file and said the number with the boys was 1300 (!) so it's most likely a single pregnancy, but nothing is ever for sure. I need to call and get a refill on the progesterone, but my last progesterone shot will be on Christmas Day. We'll have a Viability Ultrasound between December 3 and 10 (Wahoo!), and due date is July 23!!

Adam and I are so amazingly happy and grateful. As soon as we got home, we said a prayer to thank Heavenly Father. God is so good! We also called Scott and Angie with the news and to thank them (especially Scott) for helping with the blessing the other night. We've been smiling and dancing around ever since. :)

Unknown

Can we go back to when the week was dragging? Now it's a step below that. I've been really tired, today...exhausted to the full extent of the word. My mom was up here earlier, so I got a short nap, which helped. Then tonight, out of nowhere I started having cramps. Honestly, one minute I'm feeling fine, the next, not so hot. About 30 minutes after the cramps started, I went into the bathroom to find out I was spotting. Not a lot, but enough to freak me out. I left to take AJ & Aaron for their drive to get them to sleep and called my mom. I told her what had happened and asked her if I should be worried. She told me to call the U. I debated...I didn't want to call them if it was something silly or stupid, but I didn't want to not call them and wish I had. I finally scared myself enough to call and leave a message with the answering service.

Dr. Hatasaka called back about 10 minutes later. I told him we did the Cryo-transfer on the 4th, that I was scheduled for our pregnancy test on Sunday and that I started cramping and bleeding this evening. His response? "Oh, shoot!" Not the most reassuring. But he was great, asking me a bunch of questions and telling me not to freak out just yet....this could be a sign of something bad or a sign of ... nothing. He said to keep going with the progesterone and estrogen and to come in for the pregnancy test still on Sunday. He said he would be there Sunday, so we could talk to him then with any more concerns. He was so nice, reassuring, and personable. Before we hung up he said, "I'll keep my fingers crossed for you and we'll see you on Sunday." What a great doctor!

I've still been cramping, but not bleeding too bad, so I'm feeling a little better. I asked Scott and Adam to give me a blessing, which they did. Can I just say I love the Priesthood? It was so nice to have these Priesthood holders anoint me and give me a blessing. (Scott anointed, Adam sealed.) In the blessing, I was reassured that Heavenly Father is mindful of me and my situation. There was a lot of talk of trials and strength in opposition, a lot of talk of staying faithful no matter what the outcome, and a lot of talk of the great role of Motherhood and how important it is for me to teach AJ & Aaron the gospel. I was reminded to read my scriptures, be humble and repent when needed, and to trust that the Lord knows and sees what we cannot. It was a very peaceful blessing, but not a very reassuring one. :) I wanted to hear "don't worry, everything will be okay." But I was (and am) filled with peace and feeling very calm. And that worries me a little.

Adam and I have talked this whole time about how this is in the Lord's hands, and it has to be according to his will. It's hard to realize that we've done everything we can, and now have to wait to see what the Lord has in store for us. Like I said, if I thought the week was dragging before, what is it now? Just a few more hours....

Time is Marching On...

Well, we're still waiting waiting waiting. We go up for the blood test on Sunday, and this last week has been D-R-A-G-G-I-N-G! I'm a little nervous, because I don't "feel" especially pregnant. I'm sure I'm always expecting the worst, but I just don't feel the way I thought I would, if that makes any sense. Although, I have been incredibly grumpy and exhausted, so who knows.

A few fun highlights: On the way to Idaho, we stopped at some tiny gas station so my dad could give me my shot on time. But it was awkward to go into the men's or women's bathroom together, so late at night, with NO other customers there (so the employees were just checking us out wondering what we were up to). I chickened out and we went back out to the parking lot to do it there. It was FREEZING, it was dark, and cars kept pulling in and out, so I'm sure they were wondering what we were doing. Good times.

Also, the other night, I was particularly grumpy, and was arguing with Adam while we filled up the progesterone. I think he took a little too much pleasure in sticking me that time. It was kind of funny, in a not-so-funny way. All of these hormones wreak havoc on my moods, and even I don't like being around me some of the time. I'm grateful to have a hubby who understands and who is VERY patient. He reminds me why we're doing this in the first place, which always seems to help. 3 more days. 3 more VERY LONG days...

Keep Your Fingers Crossed!

Today was the transfer! It was great. Dr. Jones was the one who actually did the transfer, and she was so great! Last time, it took them a couple of tries to get the catheter in the right place because of my curvy uterus, but she was in nice and easy on the first try with hardly any pain for me. They had a big screen on the wall where we got to see the little embryos and watch them suck them up into the catheter, which was pretty cool. (They didn't have that last time.) Dr. Jones gave me two Valium before we got started, and they certainly did the trick. But it went great. Adam was there with me the whole time, holding my hand and keeping me laughing.

When they defrosted the embryos, there were 7 total that we froze, 6 survived the thawing process. 2 of them looked really good (she said that a lot of fresh embryos don't look that good), and the other 4 looked really awful. So we signed the paperwork to have them dispose of the rest. This makes me feel better because I was feeling a little guilty of "flushing" the embryos we've yet to use, but the other 4 really were pretty bad, so it was definitely the right thing to do. Dr. Jones said we have about a 40%-50% chance of an egg taking, so we'll see. When it was all said and done, Dr. Jones crossed her fingers for us as she left the room. It was a small gesture, but was very sweet.

We also got the picture of the embryos--just like we did last time--which is always fun! Last time was much the same as this time as far as my emotions go. I have gotten really teary-eyed after the transfer. I feel so overwhelmed with gratitude -- gratitude that Heavenly Father has given man the knowledge and technology to do it, gratitude that the U is so wonderful to work with, gratitude for my family, husband, and this time, the boys. It's very humbling. Oh, and I have to mention that the song playing during the transfer this time was "Tell Her" by Del Amitri. A song I love and have loved since High School. Last time, the song was "Have A Little Faith In Me" which I love as well. They have a nice sound system in the transfer room and play really soothing music, and I love it!

After the transfer, they had me rest for a little while and then they wheeled me out to the car to go home. I fell asleep pretty quickly and had a hard time getting inside...I was kind of out of it and was having a hard time telling my feet which way to go. I think Adam got a kick out of it. He let me lay down and I took a nice long nap for about three and half hours.

I'm feeling fine...a little nervous, but all in all, I'm doing good. Adam gave me a blessing before we left this morning, and he promised me that Heavenly Father knows what I'm feeling and wants me to know that all is well. It was a great comfort. While we were "relaxing" in the transfer room, Adam and I discussed all of the possibilities...if it works, if it doesn't, how many we could end up with, etc. and we both feel like either way, we'll be okay. We trust the Lord and have two wonderful boys, so come what may.

My mom called to check on us, Rachel Connett came over to bring us lunch for tomorrow and check on me, and Malinda Lough called to check on me. I also talked to my Dad later in the afternoon to let him know how it went. Adam and I are so grateful for good friends and family who are so supportive.

After my nap, Adam and I got take-out from Applebee's (we had a gift card that Scott and Angie gave us last Christmas, so it only cost $7 for ALL of our food!), and got some movies from the Redbox and spent the evening relaxing on the couch together. It has been a good day.

I can't do anything strenuous or lift anything for 2 days, and then after that I just have take it relatively easy. My pregnancy test is scheduled for Sunday, November 16. Until then, we just keep our fingers crossed. Here's a picture of Adam and I doing just that this morning before we left.

Tomorrow...

Tomorrow is the big day -- the Transfer. I'm really excited...but really nervous.

We've let my dad in on the secret...partly because we figured he already knew (he can put two and two together), and partly because we need him to give my my Progesterone shots next weekend when we go to Idaho for Holly's birthday. (Adam has a camp out with the Young Men, so he won't be there with us).

There are things about the Progesterone that I didn't remember until I started taking it again. For example, it makes me really sick to my stomach. And I'm a BEAST with all my hormones messed with! I have been so edgy, so inpatient, so grumpy! I'm trying really hard to remember that I'm feeling that way because of the hormones, but it's hard. And AJ & Aaron have been particularly difficult lately...I don't know how I'll be able to take care of them AND another baby (if it works). But I really feel like this is what Heavenly Father wants us to do right now. My mom says she thinks it's Satan's way of trying to stop us. I don't think that makes me feel much better! :)

There are also some hard things that I didn't really think of...like not being able to explain to people that my bad complexion is coming from all the drugs in my system, or that I'm not limping because I'm old, out of shape, and sore, but rather that I've had a 2.5" needle shoved into my hip muscle. Oh well, those things are pretty small, really, compared to the joy of adding to our family. More tomorrow.

Progesterone

Last night (10-29) was the first day for my Progesterone shot. I remember them sucking from last time, but not this bad. It was awful! The actual shot was okay, Adam does a really good job at keeping me calm, but after he pulled the needle out, I got really hot, light headed, sick to my stomach, and started having a hard time breathing. Adam had me sit down on the bed and breathe while he fanned me with our IVF folder. After a few minutes, I started to feel better, but it was kind of scary there for a minute...I didn't want to pass out like I did last time!

I knew Adam was in the right spot when he gave me the shot because it hurt so stinkin' bad. Right in the muscle on my hip..ugh! I've been pretty sore all day today, but have tried to walk it out...it's going to be the other side of me after tonight, so I'd better get used to it! And they gave us smaller needles to try this time, which helps with the pain, but is a lot harder to squeeze the medication through, so it takes a LONG time.

All in all, it was pretty good. Every time I bump my hip or lay wrong and I remember that I had the shot, I remember WHY we're doing it, and that certainly helps the pain. The transfer is in just a few days!!

Ultrasound!

Today I had my ultrasound with Dr. Gibson to see how the meds are working. He said I'm looking really great and right on track. He said we have two really good embryos frozen, and 7 other ok-looking embryos. I have two straws total containing the embryos, but they don't know which straw has which embryos in it. So, I had to decide if I want them to thaw both straws to see which embryos are the best, or to only thaw one and hope we get some good ones. I decided to have them thaw both straws...a bit scary! It's basically all or nothing, and if it works this time (and if we want to try again) we'll have to start at the very beginning again. If it doesn't work this time, we'll have to start at the very beginning again. But this is the scenario that sounds best to me.

Dr. Gibson said our chances of having a successful pregnancy are "significantly higher than 50%". That sounds good to me! :) I also met with the nurse (Gail) who reviewed the timeline with me. I have my last Lupron shot tonight and then start the Progesterone injections. She gave me some smaller needles to try since I have such small hips (her words) and also helped me find the spot to have Adam inject me. I left feeling pretty good! I will get a phone call from them on Monday telling us when to show up Tuesday for the transfer. WaHoO!

I think that means it's working...

Last night I was not feeling good AT ALL. I think that's a good thing. I felt really crampy, and my ovaries were swollen...you could see on my stomach where they were sticking out. It was really uncomfortable, but that's what my body's supposed to be doing right now, so it's a VERY good sign. I have an ultrasound tomorrow at the U to see if the meds are working the way they should, and if they are, we start the progesterone and continue on course. I can't believe in just a few weeks we could be expecting again! Scary! Exciting, but scary!

On a side note, my shot was AWFUL yesterday! We were at the Farm to celebrate Grandma Rindy's birthday, but Aaron was being really clingy so I brought him into the bathroom with me to do the shot. I got everything else ready, but when I grabbed the syringe to fill it with Lupron, Aaron bumped me, and I dropped the syringe. It landed on the cabinet, but the tip of the needle bent. It was the only one I had, so I still had to use it, and it didn't work so well. I basically gave myself the shot with a blunt needle. It hurt hurt hurt and is still swollen this morning. What a fun memory to stash away and treasure forever! :)

Bring on the Estrogen!

Today is a pretty big day. I'm still taking .5 cc's of Lupron, but I've gone from taking half an estrogen pill in the morning and half at night, to now taking one in the morning, one in the afternoon, and one at night. The pills are just my style...SMALL.

Next Tuesday I have my ultrasound to see if everything's going as it should. My emotions haven't been as crazy as they were a few weeks ago, but I still get frustrated pretty easily and overwhelmed a lot! Yesterday was a hard day with AJ & Aaron....and I just kept thinking "I can't even handle to the kids I have already. What made me think I should try this again?" But we all survived, and today's going good so far. I just have to keep reminding myself that my hormones are all crazy, so it's not necessarily me freaking out. I know that we are supposed to have more children, and the Lord will bless us if we do what he asks. I can make it!
The Lupron's still going smooth for the most part. I'm not sure why, but the shots in the left side of my tummy are a lot more painful than the ones in the right side. Strange.
Well, that's all for now. Lots of pills for the next week and then hopefully the progesterone and the transfer. Wahoo!

Right on Schedule...

Well, I started my period today. Not exactly wonderful news, but the U said I should expect it sometime this week, so I guess that means that everything's on schedule as far as the meds and my body go. Tonight was my last night to take 10 cc's of the Lupron...tomorrow I will decrease the Lupron to 5 cc's and begin the estras pills. Between my normal hormones and the meds, I'm having a fairly hard time staying upbeat. I can literally feel my body wanting to be sad, and I can tell it's not anything "real" but it's pretty hard to fight against. It helped to have my parents here for most of the day today, it gets especially hard when I feel lonely. (And since Adam has class tonight until 7:00, the company was very welcome!) I guess since I know it's not really 'me' feeling sad, I should be able to avoid it...I've gone back and forth quite a bit today, but overall I'm doing okay. It's good to be at this part of the treatment...it looked like the day to cut the Lupron in half was forever away from when we began, and it's here already. I'm excited!

Progress?

Today has been a pretty good day. I don't have to take my birth control pill! Hooray! My face is breaking out from the hormones, just like it did last time. I hate it! But I suppose it's a small price to pay for the desired result. Today was fast Sunday, so one of the things Adam and I fasted for is this process to go well and be successful (if that's what the Lord's plan is). I've felt at peace all day. My Lupron shot last night was much better than Friday nights...I think I did hit a nerve Friday night afterall. It was good to have it hurt the normal way last night instead of the unusual and more painful way it did Friday. I get a little freaked out sometimes when I think about having another baby (I can barely keep up with the 2 I already have!), but Adam and I both feel like this is what the Lords wants us to be doing. I can't believe we'll be doing the transfer in just a few weeks!

Ugh!

Today was pretty...ugh. I don't know what was different about my Lupron shot, but my stomach is STILL all swollen right around the area I did the shot, it bled good and hard, and it hurts so bad...almost 6 hours after I did it! I'm not sure if I hit a vein or what, but I don't like it! It will all be worth it, right? That's what I keep telling myself over and over and over...
Tomorrow's my last day for birth control. That's very good news!

Happy Friday!

Three Lessons

Some things I learned today:

1) Shots are hard to hide when you have a houseful of family over.

2) I really really hate lying, but I hope the surprise will be worth the deceit.

3) I only have to take birth control for 2 more days!!

Overall, a pretty good day.

Lupron Day 3 & Flowers

Adam had parent/teacher conferences tonight, so I was on my own with my shot. It went just fine, and I didn't feel sick afterwards at all. It's getting easier already, and I'm only on day 3.

Anyway, I wanted to make sure I documented the beautiful flowers Adam bought for me last week.

Thursday I was SO grumpy and Adam and I got in a big argument. He slept on the couch, and that's the first time he's done that um...ever, really. He's fallen asleep accidentally out there, or slept out there with one of the boys, but never because we were mad at each other. It was miserable. But Friday, he showed up on his lunch break with long stemmed roses and Arby's.

The birth control pills make me SO cranky and I get irritated over stupid little things. I know it's the pills and in my mind I'm realizing how ridiculous I'm being right in the moment, but I can't stop feeling angry. I haven't had a melt down like that since Thursday, so hopefully the worst of it is over. I'm just so thankful that I have an amazing husband who understands his wife isn't really the crazy lady she seems to be sometimes. Plus I got flowers out of the deal. Suh-weet!

Lupron Day 2

I'm not sure if this blog is going to be a daily thing or not, but I thought I'd post about my shot tonight. The shot itself wasn't bad. I asked Adam to do it, and it helps me because I don't actually see the needle go in. However, AFTER the shot was a different story. I was feeling really nauseous and shaky and just...icky. I'm not sure if it was the Lupron or something else, but it wasn't fun. Adam had my lie down in bed for 10 minutes to see if that helped, which it did (a little), but I was pretty miserable there for a while. It's also hard when the boys want to crawl all over me and keep hitting that sore spot on my belly where I've had my shots. I didn't have that to experience last time, so I'm not exactly sure how it all compares. Hopefully tomorrow night will go better. We shall see. Even if it doesn't, I'm grateful for the opportunity to do this. So if you see me smile, close my eyes and tilt my head back, you'll know I'm gently reminding myself that this is a blessing. :)

Lupron Day 1

Today was the first day for my Lupron shots. I was nervous all day and got a little light-headed when I first stuck the needle in. I think I just worked myself up again. It stung, of course, but wasn't bad. I had forgotten how much that area on my stomach itches after I do the shot, and it's a little tender now. (I felt what seemed to be a bruise on my stomach, and then remembered it was where I had my shot.) Also, the "inch to pinch" on my tummy was easier to grab than it was last time, thanks to stretching out from the twins, but it's not as firm as it used to be, so giving the shot seemed a little more difficult. I will take the Lurpon shots for the next 22 days. Fun times ahead! :)