Progesterone

Last night (10-29) was the first day for my Progesterone shot. I remember them sucking from last time, but not this bad. It was awful! The actual shot was okay, Adam does a really good job at keeping me calm, but after he pulled the needle out, I got really hot, light headed, sick to my stomach, and started having a hard time breathing. Adam had me sit down on the bed and breathe while he fanned me with our IVF folder. After a few minutes, I started to feel better, but it was kind of scary there for a minute...I didn't want to pass out like I did last time!

I knew Adam was in the right spot when he gave me the shot because it hurt so stinkin' bad. Right in the muscle on my hip..ugh! I've been pretty sore all day today, but have tried to walk it out...it's going to be the other side of me after tonight, so I'd better get used to it! And they gave us smaller needles to try this time, which helps with the pain, but is a lot harder to squeeze the medication through, so it takes a LONG time.

All in all, it was pretty good. Every time I bump my hip or lay wrong and I remember that I had the shot, I remember WHY we're doing it, and that certainly helps the pain. The transfer is in just a few days!!

Ultrasound!

Today I had my ultrasound with Dr. Gibson to see how the meds are working. He said I'm looking really great and right on track. He said we have two really good embryos frozen, and 7 other ok-looking embryos. I have two straws total containing the embryos, but they don't know which straw has which embryos in it. So, I had to decide if I want them to thaw both straws to see which embryos are the best, or to only thaw one and hope we get some good ones. I decided to have them thaw both straws...a bit scary! It's basically all or nothing, and if it works this time (and if we want to try again) we'll have to start at the very beginning again. If it doesn't work this time, we'll have to start at the very beginning again. But this is the scenario that sounds best to me.

Dr. Gibson said our chances of having a successful pregnancy are "significantly higher than 50%". That sounds good to me! :) I also met with the nurse (Gail) who reviewed the timeline with me. I have my last Lupron shot tonight and then start the Progesterone injections. She gave me some smaller needles to try since I have such small hips (her words) and also helped me find the spot to have Adam inject me. I left feeling pretty good! I will get a phone call from them on Monday telling us when to show up Tuesday for the transfer. WaHoO!

I think that means it's working...

Last night I was not feeling good AT ALL. I think that's a good thing. I felt really crampy, and my ovaries were swollen...you could see on my stomach where they were sticking out. It was really uncomfortable, but that's what my body's supposed to be doing right now, so it's a VERY good sign. I have an ultrasound tomorrow at the U to see if the meds are working the way they should, and if they are, we start the progesterone and continue on course. I can't believe in just a few weeks we could be expecting again! Scary! Exciting, but scary!

On a side note, my shot was AWFUL yesterday! We were at the Farm to celebrate Grandma Rindy's birthday, but Aaron was being really clingy so I brought him into the bathroom with me to do the shot. I got everything else ready, but when I grabbed the syringe to fill it with Lupron, Aaron bumped me, and I dropped the syringe. It landed on the cabinet, but the tip of the needle bent. It was the only one I had, so I still had to use it, and it didn't work so well. I basically gave myself the shot with a blunt needle. It hurt hurt hurt and is still swollen this morning. What a fun memory to stash away and treasure forever! :)

Bring on the Estrogen!

Today is a pretty big day. I'm still taking .5 cc's of Lupron, but I've gone from taking half an estrogen pill in the morning and half at night, to now taking one in the morning, one in the afternoon, and one at night. The pills are just my style...SMALL.

Next Tuesday I have my ultrasound to see if everything's going as it should. My emotions haven't been as crazy as they were a few weeks ago, but I still get frustrated pretty easily and overwhelmed a lot! Yesterday was a hard day with AJ & Aaron....and I just kept thinking "I can't even handle to the kids I have already. What made me think I should try this again?" But we all survived, and today's going good so far. I just have to keep reminding myself that my hormones are all crazy, so it's not necessarily me freaking out. I know that we are supposed to have more children, and the Lord will bless us if we do what he asks. I can make it!
The Lupron's still going smooth for the most part. I'm not sure why, but the shots in the left side of my tummy are a lot more painful than the ones in the right side. Strange.
Well, that's all for now. Lots of pills for the next week and then hopefully the progesterone and the transfer. Wahoo!

Right on Schedule...

Well, I started my period today. Not exactly wonderful news, but the U said I should expect it sometime this week, so I guess that means that everything's on schedule as far as the meds and my body go. Tonight was my last night to take 10 cc's of the Lupron...tomorrow I will decrease the Lupron to 5 cc's and begin the estras pills. Between my normal hormones and the meds, I'm having a fairly hard time staying upbeat. I can literally feel my body wanting to be sad, and I can tell it's not anything "real" but it's pretty hard to fight against. It helped to have my parents here for most of the day today, it gets especially hard when I feel lonely. (And since Adam has class tonight until 7:00, the company was very welcome!) I guess since I know it's not really 'me' feeling sad, I should be able to avoid it...I've gone back and forth quite a bit today, but overall I'm doing okay. It's good to be at this part of the treatment...it looked like the day to cut the Lupron in half was forever away from when we began, and it's here already. I'm excited!

Progress?

Today has been a pretty good day. I don't have to take my birth control pill! Hooray! My face is breaking out from the hormones, just like it did last time. I hate it! But I suppose it's a small price to pay for the desired result. Today was fast Sunday, so one of the things Adam and I fasted for is this process to go well and be successful (if that's what the Lord's plan is). I've felt at peace all day. My Lupron shot last night was much better than Friday nights...I think I did hit a nerve Friday night afterall. It was good to have it hurt the normal way last night instead of the unusual and more painful way it did Friday. I get a little freaked out sometimes when I think about having another baby (I can barely keep up with the 2 I already have!), but Adam and I both feel like this is what the Lords wants us to be doing. I can't believe we'll be doing the transfer in just a few weeks!

Ugh!

Today was pretty...ugh. I don't know what was different about my Lupron shot, but my stomach is STILL all swollen right around the area I did the shot, it bled good and hard, and it hurts so bad...almost 6 hours after I did it! I'm not sure if I hit a vein or what, but I don't like it! It will all be worth it, right? That's what I keep telling myself over and over and over...
Tomorrow's my last day for birth control. That's very good news!

Happy Friday!

Three Lessons

Some things I learned today:

1) Shots are hard to hide when you have a houseful of family over.

2) I really really hate lying, but I hope the surprise will be worth the deceit.

3) I only have to take birth control for 2 more days!!

Overall, a pretty good day.

Lupron Day 3 & Flowers

Adam had parent/teacher conferences tonight, so I was on my own with my shot. It went just fine, and I didn't feel sick afterwards at all. It's getting easier already, and I'm only on day 3.

Anyway, I wanted to make sure I documented the beautiful flowers Adam bought for me last week.

Thursday I was SO grumpy and Adam and I got in a big argument. He slept on the couch, and that's the first time he's done that um...ever, really. He's fallen asleep accidentally out there, or slept out there with one of the boys, but never because we were mad at each other. It was miserable. But Friday, he showed up on his lunch break with long stemmed roses and Arby's.

The birth control pills make me SO cranky and I get irritated over stupid little things. I know it's the pills and in my mind I'm realizing how ridiculous I'm being right in the moment, but I can't stop feeling angry. I haven't had a melt down like that since Thursday, so hopefully the worst of it is over. I'm just so thankful that I have an amazing husband who understands his wife isn't really the crazy lady she seems to be sometimes. Plus I got flowers out of the deal. Suh-weet!

Lupron Day 2

I'm not sure if this blog is going to be a daily thing or not, but I thought I'd post about my shot tonight. The shot itself wasn't bad. I asked Adam to do it, and it helps me because I don't actually see the needle go in. However, AFTER the shot was a different story. I was feeling really nauseous and shaky and just...icky. I'm not sure if it was the Lupron or something else, but it wasn't fun. Adam had my lie down in bed for 10 minutes to see if that helped, which it did (a little), but I was pretty miserable there for a while. It's also hard when the boys want to crawl all over me and keep hitting that sore spot on my belly where I've had my shots. I didn't have that to experience last time, so I'm not exactly sure how it all compares. Hopefully tomorrow night will go better. We shall see. Even if it doesn't, I'm grateful for the opportunity to do this. So if you see me smile, close my eyes and tilt my head back, you'll know I'm gently reminding myself that this is a blessing. :)

Lupron Day 1

Today was the first day for my Lupron shots. I was nervous all day and got a little light-headed when I first stuck the needle in. I think I just worked myself up again. It stung, of course, but wasn't bad. I had forgotten how much that area on my stomach itches after I do the shot, and it's a little tender now. (I felt what seemed to be a bruise on my stomach, and then remembered it was where I had my shot.) Also, the "inch to pinch" on my tummy was easier to grab than it was last time, thanks to stretching out from the twins, but it's not as firm as it used to be, so giving the shot seemed a little more difficult. I will take the Lurpon shots for the next 22 days. Fun times ahead! :)