The Cat's Out of the Bag

Yesterday was the big day, and now both of our families know. We thought it would be fun to tell them on Thanksgiving, so we bought shirts for AJ & Aaron that look like this:

It took both families a little while to read the shirts and then to make the connection, but it was a lot of fun, and AJ & Aaron got to be the ones to break the news. Our Ultrasound is next Wednesday, where we will get to see the heartbeat. I'm so excited!

I've been feeling pretty sick these last few weeks. Really sick to my stomach, drained of energy, and T-I-R-E-D! But it's good, because that means I'm pregnant!! I've really been trying not to complain, and have just tried to be grateful that I get to have this experience. I'm already getting a little belly, so it helps to keep me excited, even when I'm feeling sick.

When we ask AJ where the baby is, he'll pat my stomach and say "Baby! Baby!" It's so much fun.

And last night, DJ gave me my progesterone shot. He's going into nursing, so when we were talking about my shot, he was like "I'll do it." He did a good job, even though he was pretty nervous. It's fun to have both families so excited for both of us, and wanting to be involved in the IVF process. We are so blessed to have such amazing support!

The Results Are In...

WE'RE PREGNANT!!

We woke up early this morning to go to the U for my blood test. (The boys stayed at Grandpa & Grandma's for the night.) We got there before 8:00, they drew the blood, and said they'd call us around noon to tell us the results. We talked with the nurse, Jennie, about our little scare and told her that we were hoping for the best but were prepared for the worst. She said she would call us and would hope for good news. We were out of there at 8:13.

Because we had missed the first part of church, we came home to eat and shower and then went to the third hour. I had my cell phone in my hand the whole time, but it never rang. As we were walking out of the church, my phone started vibrating, and I knew it was her.

"Hi, Misty. This is Jennie. How are you? I have some good news for you...YOU'RE PREGNANT!" She was so cute and laughing and excited...she said she was expecting bad news and was so glad she could call us with good news! She asked if Adam was there with me, and I said, "Yes, he's right here, looking at me with a quizzical expression." She said "TELL HIM!" "We're having a baby!" I said. "We're pregnant!" AHH! :D

She said the number they look for is 100 -- 100 is a positive pregnancy. My level is 388.9, so it's a GOOD positive! I asked about the number compared to the boys with our first IVF cycle, and she looked back through our file and said the number with the boys was 1300 (!) so it's most likely a single pregnancy, but nothing is ever for sure. I need to call and get a refill on the progesterone, but my last progesterone shot will be on Christmas Day. We'll have a Viability Ultrasound between December 3 and 10 (Wahoo!), and due date is July 23!!

Adam and I are so amazingly happy and grateful. As soon as we got home, we said a prayer to thank Heavenly Father. God is so good! We also called Scott and Angie with the news and to thank them (especially Scott) for helping with the blessing the other night. We've been smiling and dancing around ever since. :)

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Can we go back to when the week was dragging? Now it's a step below that. I've been really tired, today...exhausted to the full extent of the word. My mom was up here earlier, so I got a short nap, which helped. Then tonight, out of nowhere I started having cramps. Honestly, one minute I'm feeling fine, the next, not so hot. About 30 minutes after the cramps started, I went into the bathroom to find out I was spotting. Not a lot, but enough to freak me out. I left to take AJ & Aaron for their drive to get them to sleep and called my mom. I told her what had happened and asked her if I should be worried. She told me to call the U. I debated...I didn't want to call them if it was something silly or stupid, but I didn't want to not call them and wish I had. I finally scared myself enough to call and leave a message with the answering service.

Dr. Hatasaka called back about 10 minutes later. I told him we did the Cryo-transfer on the 4th, that I was scheduled for our pregnancy test on Sunday and that I started cramping and bleeding this evening. His response? "Oh, shoot!" Not the most reassuring. But he was great, asking me a bunch of questions and telling me not to freak out just yet....this could be a sign of something bad or a sign of ... nothing. He said to keep going with the progesterone and estrogen and to come in for the pregnancy test still on Sunday. He said he would be there Sunday, so we could talk to him then with any more concerns. He was so nice, reassuring, and personable. Before we hung up he said, "I'll keep my fingers crossed for you and we'll see you on Sunday." What a great doctor!

I've still been cramping, but not bleeding too bad, so I'm feeling a little better. I asked Scott and Adam to give me a blessing, which they did. Can I just say I love the Priesthood? It was so nice to have these Priesthood holders anoint me and give me a blessing. (Scott anointed, Adam sealed.) In the blessing, I was reassured that Heavenly Father is mindful of me and my situation. There was a lot of talk of trials and strength in opposition, a lot of talk of staying faithful no matter what the outcome, and a lot of talk of the great role of Motherhood and how important it is for me to teach AJ & Aaron the gospel. I was reminded to read my scriptures, be humble and repent when needed, and to trust that the Lord knows and sees what we cannot. It was a very peaceful blessing, but not a very reassuring one. :) I wanted to hear "don't worry, everything will be okay." But I was (and am) filled with peace and feeling very calm. And that worries me a little.

Adam and I have talked this whole time about how this is in the Lord's hands, and it has to be according to his will. It's hard to realize that we've done everything we can, and now have to wait to see what the Lord has in store for us. Like I said, if I thought the week was dragging before, what is it now? Just a few more hours....

Time is Marching On...

Well, we're still waiting waiting waiting. We go up for the blood test on Sunday, and this last week has been D-R-A-G-G-I-N-G! I'm a little nervous, because I don't "feel" especially pregnant. I'm sure I'm always expecting the worst, but I just don't feel the way I thought I would, if that makes any sense. Although, I have been incredibly grumpy and exhausted, so who knows.

A few fun highlights: On the way to Idaho, we stopped at some tiny gas station so my dad could give me my shot on time. But it was awkward to go into the men's or women's bathroom together, so late at night, with NO other customers there (so the employees were just checking us out wondering what we were up to). I chickened out and we went back out to the parking lot to do it there. It was FREEZING, it was dark, and cars kept pulling in and out, so I'm sure they were wondering what we were doing. Good times.

Also, the other night, I was particularly grumpy, and was arguing with Adam while we filled up the progesterone. I think he took a little too much pleasure in sticking me that time. It was kind of funny, in a not-so-funny way. All of these hormones wreak havoc on my moods, and even I don't like being around me some of the time. I'm grateful to have a hubby who understands and who is VERY patient. He reminds me why we're doing this in the first place, which always seems to help. 3 more days. 3 more VERY LONG days...

Keep Your Fingers Crossed!

Today was the transfer! It was great. Dr. Jones was the one who actually did the transfer, and she was so great! Last time, it took them a couple of tries to get the catheter in the right place because of my curvy uterus, but she was in nice and easy on the first try with hardly any pain for me. They had a big screen on the wall where we got to see the little embryos and watch them suck them up into the catheter, which was pretty cool. (They didn't have that last time.) Dr. Jones gave me two Valium before we got started, and they certainly did the trick. But it went great. Adam was there with me the whole time, holding my hand and keeping me laughing.

When they defrosted the embryos, there were 7 total that we froze, 6 survived the thawing process. 2 of them looked really good (she said that a lot of fresh embryos don't look that good), and the other 4 looked really awful. So we signed the paperwork to have them dispose of the rest. This makes me feel better because I was feeling a little guilty of "flushing" the embryos we've yet to use, but the other 4 really were pretty bad, so it was definitely the right thing to do. Dr. Jones said we have about a 40%-50% chance of an egg taking, so we'll see. When it was all said and done, Dr. Jones crossed her fingers for us as she left the room. It was a small gesture, but was very sweet.

We also got the picture of the embryos--just like we did last time--which is always fun! Last time was much the same as this time as far as my emotions go. I have gotten really teary-eyed after the transfer. I feel so overwhelmed with gratitude -- gratitude that Heavenly Father has given man the knowledge and technology to do it, gratitude that the U is so wonderful to work with, gratitude for my family, husband, and this time, the boys. It's very humbling. Oh, and I have to mention that the song playing during the transfer this time was "Tell Her" by Del Amitri. A song I love and have loved since High School. Last time, the song was "Have A Little Faith In Me" which I love as well. They have a nice sound system in the transfer room and play really soothing music, and I love it!

After the transfer, they had me rest for a little while and then they wheeled me out to the car to go home. I fell asleep pretty quickly and had a hard time getting inside...I was kind of out of it and was having a hard time telling my feet which way to go. I think Adam got a kick out of it. He let me lay down and I took a nice long nap for about three and half hours.

I'm feeling fine...a little nervous, but all in all, I'm doing good. Adam gave me a blessing before we left this morning, and he promised me that Heavenly Father knows what I'm feeling and wants me to know that all is well. It was a great comfort. While we were "relaxing" in the transfer room, Adam and I discussed all of the possibilities...if it works, if it doesn't, how many we could end up with, etc. and we both feel like either way, we'll be okay. We trust the Lord and have two wonderful boys, so come what may.

My mom called to check on us, Rachel Connett came over to bring us lunch for tomorrow and check on me, and Malinda Lough called to check on me. I also talked to my Dad later in the afternoon to let him know how it went. Adam and I are so grateful for good friends and family who are so supportive.

After my nap, Adam and I got take-out from Applebee's (we had a gift card that Scott and Angie gave us last Christmas, so it only cost $7 for ALL of our food!), and got some movies from the Redbox and spent the evening relaxing on the couch together. It has been a good day.

I can't do anything strenuous or lift anything for 2 days, and then after that I just have take it relatively easy. My pregnancy test is scheduled for Sunday, November 16. Until then, we just keep our fingers crossed. Here's a picture of Adam and I doing just that this morning before we left.

Tomorrow...

Tomorrow is the big day -- the Transfer. I'm really excited...but really nervous.

We've let my dad in on the secret...partly because we figured he already knew (he can put two and two together), and partly because we need him to give my my Progesterone shots next weekend when we go to Idaho for Holly's birthday. (Adam has a camp out with the Young Men, so he won't be there with us).

There are things about the Progesterone that I didn't remember until I started taking it again. For example, it makes me really sick to my stomach. And I'm a BEAST with all my hormones messed with! I have been so edgy, so inpatient, so grumpy! I'm trying really hard to remember that I'm feeling that way because of the hormones, but it's hard. And AJ & Aaron have been particularly difficult lately...I don't know how I'll be able to take care of them AND another baby (if it works). But I really feel like this is what Heavenly Father wants us to do right now. My mom says she thinks it's Satan's way of trying to stop us. I don't think that makes me feel much better! :)

There are also some hard things that I didn't really think of...like not being able to explain to people that my bad complexion is coming from all the drugs in my system, or that I'm not limping because I'm old, out of shape, and sore, but rather that I've had a 2.5" needle shoved into my hip muscle. Oh well, those things are pretty small, really, compared to the joy of adding to our family. More tomorrow.